Sometimes It Doesn’t Last Forever

Most people we know, if not all, get married with hope that they will stay committed to this person they are exchanging vows with.

They can tell us their wonderful love stories: how they met, what drew them to each other, how one of them started to pursue the other romantically or how they just realized one day that this was the person for them and then they have beautiful weddings. Weddings that were supposed to be entry doors to a lifetime together of love, joy, peace. But then somehow, a few months or years after they walk past that door they find themselves heading towards the end of their marriage. And now the challenge is: how does one End a Marriage Peacefully?

The reasons for a marriage ending in separation or divorce are varied. Infidelity can be one reason. Major disagreements in handling finance, rearing children and even relating with in-laws can lead the path towards the end of a marriage. Some would simply label the cause as irreconcilable differences. But sometimes there are some horrid stories behind the breakdown of a marriage.

One of my friends had to end her marriage because she found out that her husband was abusive a few months into their marriage. But as she did not want to disappoint her parents, she held on to the marriage. In the meantime, as the months passed into years, the verbal and physical abuse got worse. What I personally found terrible in her situation was that her husband was a different man in front of other people: he was smart, kind, generous. There seemed to be no sign that he was treating my friend badly. What finally convinced my friend to leave him was when it came to a point when he threatened her life.

Another friend of mine thought she found the love to last a lifetime in the man she married. But years into the marriage and now with three young children, her husband got hooked into drugs. Their once happy marriage and family was now filled with psychological and physical abuse. My friend decided to end the marriage when she found out that her husband has been stealing money from her and from the children just to satisfy his addiction and when she confronted him about it, he threatened her life.

The stories I mentioned above belong to the painful and heartbreaking reasons for ending a marriage. And I see the scenarios above as sound basis for ending a marriage. One can not stay in a marriage where even your life is threatened by the person who once vowed to love you and care for you. And yet even in the above situations, I believe one can still strive to end it peacefully. That would be for the sake of the children and even for the sake of what you once had together. After all, you were both in love with each other at one point in your life.

Personally, as a person with a degree in Psychology and who believes in the sanctity of marriage, I wish every couple would go into counseling first before they get married. They can see a psychologist or their church leader or even an older couple that they know and trust and whose marriage they admire. It helps a lot, I think, when a couple go through premarital counseling to help them prepare themselves for marriage.

Then again if a marriage has to end, may it be that both partners can still agree to end it all peacefully.

Pushing Forward with Online Business

The internet has changed the way people do business.

I’ve known friends who have started online businesses which includes selling items online to selling their services online (like providing their writing, web design or marketing services).

It seems to me that, thanks to the internet, starting a business has never been easier as it has been compared to, say, 5 to 10 years ago.

Now while it appears that the internet has made starting a business easier, it seems to me that people have also somehow forgotten that just like other “offline” businesses they also need to consider the importance of the following:

Creativity and originality. People who start online businesses can sometimes do it just because it’s the trend. A couple of their friends are selling stuff online and seeing that they profit from it they also decide to start their own. They fail to consider that creativity and originality matters. What sets your business apart from the others? What need is it meeting? These are questions that need to be asked.

Knowledge of the market. To go into business is to know your market. Who is buying the goods? What is the demographics of the clients or customers? What makes them choose your products? These are but just a few of the questions that one who runs an online business needs to think about.

 

Quality of products or services. My stand is if one can not provide quality services or products, one should not be in business in the first place. Okay. I can be gracious and say that they can be in business, but they should work on improving their products and services. If this is no longer possible for them then they should really consider closing shop.

Manage the business and its resources well. One can have the best products but when management is not done well, I think the business will eventually fail. The business resources would include the data that a business or a company has. As the business grows and expands, one must learn how to manage available data and use it for the best of the business or company. Check out this page to know more about data management.

Passion and profit must go together. I think that passion is key in growing a business, but one needs to be able to gain good profit from it to sustain it. And if it’s only profit that is operative word for the business then I think it will not last.

By all means, let’s be entrepreneurial and use the internet to do so but let’s not forget to do it well. No, not just well but let’s do our best.

Music to Set the Day

Music helps set the mood of the day.

I learned this as a child. I learned it from my late mother’s habit of playing music on the stereo very early in the morning or as soon as she wakes up.

Somehow the songs ushered in calmness, peace, hope.

Mother would play worship songs for hours until she leaves for the office. During weekends, the songs would continue to fill the air until breakfast time.

I borrowed that habit of hers when I left home for university. Her habit has especially helped me during my lonely and challenging times when I lived by myself in Cebu for several years. This was also true during my 3 years of living in Thailand, far away from family and from any close friend.

I can still remember today how lonely some days could be while living in a foreign land. You do not just miss family and friends but there are days when you miss the sight, the sound and even the scent of your own country.

Ah, but I survived that 🙂

Today, my mother’s habit is still a blessing to me. And my husband also shares that habit. I wake up in the morning and I hear worship songs fill the air of our home.

I am grateful for my late mother’s and my husband’s habit. And I am truly thankful for the gift of music and to the Ultimate Creator of all music.