Sometimes It Doesn’t Last Forever

Most people we know, if not all, get married with hope that they will stay committed to this person they are exchanging vows with.

They can tell us their wonderful love stories: how they met, what drew them to each other, how one of them started to pursue the other romantically or how they just realized one day that this was the person for them and then they have beautiful weddings. Weddings that were supposed to be entry doors to a lifetime together of love, joy, peace. But then somehow, a few months or years after they walk past that door they find themselves heading towards the end of their marriage. And now the challenge is: how does one End a Marriage Peacefully?

The reasons for a marriage ending in separation or divorce are varied. Infidelity can be one reason. Major disagreements in handling finance, rearing children and even relating with in-laws can lead the path towards the end of a marriage. Some would simply label the cause as irreconcilable differences. But sometimes there are some horrid stories behind the breakdown of a marriage.

One of my friends had to end her marriage because she found out that her husband was abusive a few months into their marriage. But as she did not want to disappoint her parents, she held on to the marriage. In the meantime, as the months passed into years, the verbal and physical abuse got worse. What I personally found terrible in her situation was that her husband was a different man in front of other people: he was smart, kind, generous. There seemed to be no sign that he was treating my friend badly. What finally convinced my friend to leave him was when it came to a point when he threatened her life.

Another friend of mine thought she found the love to last a lifetime in the man she married. But years into the marriage and now with three young children, her husband got hooked into drugs. Their once happy marriage and family was now filled with psychological and physical abuse. My friend decided to end the marriage when she found out that her husband has been stealing money from her and from the children just to satisfy his addiction and when she confronted him about it, he threatened her life.

The stories I mentioned above belong to the painful and heartbreaking reasons for ending a marriage. And I see the scenarios above as sound basis for ending a marriage. One can not stay in a marriage where even your life is threatened by the person who once vowed to love you and care for you. And yet even in the above situations, I believe one can still strive to end it peacefully. That would be for the sake of the children and even for the sake of what you once had together. After all, you were both in love with each other at one point in your life.

Personally, as a person with a degree in Psychology and who believes in the sanctity of marriage, I wish every couple would go into counseling first before they get married. They can see a psychologist or their church leader or even an older couple that they know and trust and whose marriage they admire. It helps a lot, I think, when a couple go through premarital counseling to help them prepare themselves for marriage.

Then again if a marriage has to end, may it be that both partners can still agree to end it all peacefully.

Memories of Boracay

Beginning last April 26, the Philippines’ world famous island of Boracay was shut down. For the 1st time it became out of reach to tourists, which numbered up to 2 million in 2017 alone.

Personally, I have never thought of Boracay being closed and off limits to Boracay non-residents. But well it happened. The Philippine government says that this is to rehabilitate the island.

I have been to the island only twice. Once in 2005 with my siblings and then in 2016 accompanied by a friend after I ran a training in Kalibo on culture and outreach work.

Boracay island has white powdery sand. The stretch of blue sea and sky is, of course, refreshing to a nature lover like me. Boracay reminds me really of Bohol’s own share of pristine white sand beaches and yes, blue sea and sky  which I frequently enjoyed, being born and raised in Bohol. By the way, my hubby and I visited Bohol just this May and we had the opportunity to stay at Hennan Resort in Alona, Panglao together with my siblings. That would have to be a separate blog post 🙂

Well, I look forward to seeing a beautiful and restored Boracay again after the 6-month cleanup. Hope to go back with my hubby next time 🙂

When It’s Party Time

I just learned recently that one of my cousins, Irene Shiela, is now providing supplies for party needs in our home province of Bohol (Philippines) 🙂 She is also able to send party supplies to you even if your event is outside Bohol.

Knowing Shiela, with her bubbly personality, strong people skills and love for family, I think her latest business endeavor fits her well.

I think she and her team will be able to meet well your party needs in your party corner in Bohol and even beyond.

Her prices are affordable, too. Check them out: 

In providing party supplies outside of Bohol, Shiela says that they will just add the courier cost to your orders. Contact her for more info.

You may get in touch with Shiela and Eight Jewels Party Needs and Fashion Boutique through their Facebook Page or through mobile number: +63917 139 6698.

Music to Set the Day

Music helps set the mood of the day.

I learned this as a child. I learned it from my late mother’s habit of playing music on the stereo very early in the morning or as soon as she wakes up.

Somehow the songs ushered in calmness, peace, hope.

Mother would play worship songs for hours until she leaves for the office. During weekends, the songs would continue to fill the air until breakfast time.

I borrowed that habit of hers when I left home for university. Her habit has especially helped me during my lonely and challenging times when I lived by myself in Cebu for several years. This was also true during my 3 years of living in Thailand, far away from family and from any close friend.

I can still remember today how lonely some days could be while living in a foreign land. You do not just miss family and friends but there are days when you miss the sight, the sound and even the scent of your own country.

Ah, but I survived that 🙂

Today, my mother’s habit is still a blessing to me. And my husband also shares that habit. I wake up in the morning and I hear worship songs fill the air of our home.

I am grateful for my late mother’s and my husband’s habit. And I am truly thankful for the gift of music and to the Ultimate Creator of all music.